I’m saying GOODBYE to Facebook!
Ok, not really. But kind of.
After struggling with a lot of self-pity and self-doubt lately, I have decided to delete the Facebook app off of my phone.
You guys, this is a HUGE deal for me. I don’t know how much time I spend on my phone each day scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed. Facebook is how I keep tabs on my friends and family. It’s how I know what’s going on in the lives of people I care about (and people I only kind of care about). It’s where I share cute pictures of my littles and post status updates where I attempt to be funnier than I really am.
It’s where I find, or at least seek, validation…
And THAT is why I need to say goodbye. At least on my phone. And just for a little bit (for now, anyways).
Because I find myself going on Facebook less and less to see what others are up to and more to see how many thumbs ups or hearts or laughy faces my latest post got.
Because I find myself spending too many minutes each day wondering why someone else’s post got more reactions and comments than mine when I posted almost the exact same thing.
Because I find myself analyzing every word I type, wondering if this will get the attention I think it deserves.
Because I find myself thinking that I’m just not interesting enough. That nobody really cares about anything I have to say. That nobody cares at all.
Comparison is the thief of joy. We’ve all heard this popular phrase in some way. And Facebook throws comparison in my face.
Wow. Look at her. She does so much stuff everyday and she STILL keeps her house looking immaculate!
Ooohhh. Look at her. She just started her new business and she’s already finding a lot of success!
Oh how fun! Look. They all got together and did this fun thing. And you weren’t invited.
Look. Look. LOOK!
I’m looking! And the more I look, the more I feel left behind. I feel like I’m being left in everyone’s dust. I feel like everyone is doing everything better and faster and cooler than I am. She’s a better mom than I am. She’s a better homemaker than me. She’s better at being social. She’s a better friend. She’s a better wife.
I can’t keep up! Oh, I try. Because I’m competitive as fudge and don’t really like when other people do some things better than me. But I can’t. I just can’t.
So I think I need to step away. I need a breather. I need to remember that Facebook does not define me.
Go ahead. Roll your eyes. I know you want to. And I don’t blame you. I probably would have rolled my eyes reading something like this not too long ago. Like, seriously? She can’t handle reading other people’s Facebook posts without feeling like crap about herself?
Honestly? No. At least not right now. This has never really been a struggle for me before. But for some reason it has become one recently. Because I’ve gotten to that point where now I see a post and I think “Ugh. Why does she brag about herself so much?” Or “Okay, her kid isn’t THAT special. Geez.” Or “Why the fudge do people care so much about HER but don’t give a crap about me when I post the same thing?!”
I hate that. I hate thinking that way. I hate feeling resentment for my friends’ successes when I should be jumping for joy with them. I hate mentally belittling the words and actions of others because mine went unnoticed.
I refuse to choose pity for myself over joy for others.
So the Facebook app on my phone is getting the big D. (Deleted, guys. It’s getting deleted.) I’ll still access Facebook on my computer once or twice a day since there are a few things I need to do on there occasionally. But I won’t be able to check it on my phone every hour of every day. And what I’m hoping this will accomplish (besides having more time in the day, because we all know Facebook is a major time suck) is that I will spend less time focusing on what others are doing and I will spend more time actually doing my own thing. And really doing it for me. Not to be more like her. Not to be better than her. Not for the likes and hearts and laughy faces. Not for the comments and validation and assurances. I want to do my own thing solely for me.
It will be hard to not share things on a whim or scream out an accomplishment or success. But I need to stop looking at life as an opportunity for a great Facebook post. I need to start living it.
Have you struggled with comparing yourself with others because of social media? How did you handle the struggle? Would you get rid of a social media app to “refresh” yourself?